Lately, I’ve been trying to slow down my daily life and to pay more attention to details of myself and surroundings and to find sincere joy in every day. Taking life slowly isn’t easy for me, but I’m trying and it gets better with time.
The pace of my life was crazy for me lately. I felt tired too often, was putting a loto f pressure on myself and the phrase “do more, that’s not enough” was on repeat. Yup, that was going on since I haven’t seen sun so maybe it’s all about vitamin D? However, I wasn’t feeling myself since I had to wake up while there was no sign of sun in the morning and when I left the office it was completely dark again. Living in dark and unnatural light for a couple months was terrible. Even on weekends I just couldn’t enjoy my leisure to the fullest because I wanted to do too much in only few hours when it was bright outside. To go for a walk, to take pictures, to read a book and do lots of other things in daylight. It was impossible. So I did my best to fi tas much things in the weekend as possible to “enjoy my leisure” but actually I was simply getting even more tired because of that. It went on and on until I understood that it’s not about the daylight, it’s about me wanting too much.
That’s why now I’m living slower. The pace is still intensive sometimes but now I’m taking things differently. I wait not only for the weekends but for dark evenings as well. I wait for early mornings when the dawn begans to brighten the sky. And I consciously enjoy those little things. I don’t put pressure on myself anymore and listen to myself. I plan less and enjoy doing nothing more that ever. Before that, I wanted to do something for the blog everyday, I wanted to plan the posts, to write them, to go to a restaurant because I had to write a new post about food, I wanted to buy a new product which I could write about, and I also wanted to go for a walk, to read books, to cook, spend time with friends and family and to have me-time – all at once.
Recently, I was practising listening. Listening of my own inside voice which is telling what I truly need most. And if that voice is telling that I need to cuddle in blankets on the sofa and watch movies all evening, I’ll do that without guilt. And whatever I do now, I do because that’s what I truly want, not because I think I need to do that. I also taught myself to be true with others, especially when they’re offering to do something. Before that, I used to agree most of the time even when I didn’t wanted because I thought I have to do that and didn’t know how to say no. Now if I feel that’s not what I truly want, I say that. It made my life much more pleasant, I didn’t even know how often I was doing what I didn’t want.
Taking life slowly also made me much happier and kind. I’ve learnt to take life as it is and enjoy it to the fullest. Appearently, fast pace can truly be too fast so it’s better to stop and listen to ourselves. At least that’s what’s best for me.