In the notebook that I use every day, I have found a wonderful quote "What it is that you want today? It is one of the most important self-care questions." You know what? It truly is! Our lives are always in between ups and downs and we struggle to stay in the "ups" longer because we forget to ask ourselves this simple question!
We All Have Ups & Downs
In a daily rush, a lot of us get lost from time to time because of lack of attention to ourselves. When I have my "downs", it seems like everything is okay but I am missing something inside and feel empty. Being moody and not knowing why it is so, affects my relationships with family and friends because I get irritated easily, cry without any reason and want to be left alone. It is easy to do nothing until I feel completely broken but it would be much better if I could eliminate some of those "downs" and have more "ups" in my life.
When I read this question, "What it is that you want today?", I instantly understood that this is it. This is the question that can help me if only I will ask this myself every day and do what I really want. I am not speaking about some tremendous wishes that would have to be fulfilled every day, it would be vanity and it would make my downs even deeper after some time. What I have in mind are simple, easily doable things for yourself. It might be a wish to read a book, take a bath or visit some place. Simple as that. It would not be too expensive or taking too much time, just simple wishes that could be fulfilled easily and would make me happy.
I was pretty sure that by asking myself what I want can help me enjoy the present more and take care of myself so was practicing this daily questioning routine for the past few weeks. You know what? It made me a different person! I am not counting days until weekend anymore, I am counting hours until I will get home and will do something for myself. Besides, my life became much more interesting because I am actually thinking what I want to do.
Only by enjoying the moment we can stay positive, energetic and happy, and this is what matters most. Life is too short to spend it taking care of everything but forgetting about yourself. So ask yourself, what it is that I want today? And do it. Do it and be happy.
How many times did you not do something you wanted only because you were afraid that you will fail? For most people, it is too often. We give up our dreams, no matter how big or small they are, only because we are afraid to fail. But who will judge you if you fail?
Frist thought that comes to your mind probably is "the Others" but do you truly think others care about you so much? Most of the people are afraid that those others will tittle-tattle about every detail of their failure, mock them and the whole world will think that they are the most miserable losers of all. Do you also think so? How many people do you know that tried to achieve something and did not succeed? I bet you know at least a few. Have you ever thought that they failed? Probably no, no matter how silly or miserable the failure was, we tend to see the bravery and determination in those people, and we admire them even if they fail, only because they tried to seek their dreams. So why would you think that others might judge you? They will not!
The second thought probably is "My Friends and Family". Well, these people care about you, especially your mum, grandma, significant other and your best friend but they certainly will not judge you if you will fail! These people will support you not to give up because they are the ones that see how much effort you put into it, they will never blame you, the unfavorable circumstances will be the ones they will blame.
The only person who might judge you is You. It was your time and efforts that you dedicated to pursuing your dream and it is only you who sincerely cares about it. Though, if you truly want to pursue your dream, you will not give up until you succeed. All you have to do is to learn from the mistakes you made, do your best and keep going!
Do not let yourself to be dazed by your imagination and pursue your dreams without hesitations. You are the only one who might judge so forget the fear of failure and keep trying!
As long as I can remember, I always had set my goals for the upcoming year. At first, they were childish and foolish but, as I got older, my goals became more realistic but still ambitious. Though I have found it difficult to set and pursue goals, covering all important aspects of life so I have started to set monthly goals and the most important ones are related to my mindset and well-being.
It took me a while to consciously understand that without peaceful mindset and right attitude nothing else matters. If my mindset is unbalanced, I will not keep on the right track and probably will give up everything that I was working on. Because of that, every month I think about my relationship with myself and set goals that would help me to keep the balance and harmony.
I noticed, that lately, I was not enjoying my life the way it is to the fullest. Maybe it was because some major changes in my life, I was also feeling a little bit lost and disappointed because I was working really hard on my dreams but was not reaching so wanted results. At the same time, I was very demanding on myself and that also led to disharmony and self-hesitation.
So, after evaluating my state of mind I have set three goals for August that should help me regain my balance and improve my personal growing:
Goal No. 1: Consciously enjoy your life the way it is.
Goal No. 2: Do not be over-demanding for yourself.
Goal No. 3: Pursue your dreams without hesitations (even when it seems like a complete failure).
Hope, I will manage to reach these goals!
Have you ever tried to meditate? I still remember how many years ago, when I was just a little girl, I heard about meditation for the first time. In my mind, it seemed as an act of magic, I imagined myself sitting peacefully, thinking about nothing, just breathing and finally floating in the air like a Tibetian monk. When I got older, I was deeply interested in psychology and well-being so I have tried meditation as well. Whether I was meditating at home or with help of my yoga teacher, I have never experienced a true feeling of meditation. Though now I believe I have found my own way of meditation.
Find Your Way
After trying various versions of meditation, I figured out that every person has its own way of meditation. For some people, it is quite easy to calm down their thoughts and concentrate on breathing. For others, it is easier with a guidance of a professional, telling them how to stop that mind flow step-by-step. Others claim that they find easy to meditate while running, though your body is super active, your minds can calm down. I have tried to meditate while running but it worked only when I was running at least three times a week, about a half an hour each time, only then I could think about nothing, just run and it felt like a meditation.
Of course, you might wonder, how does it feel exactly to meditate? How can you be sure that you have experienced this? Well, once you will succeed to calm your mind and experience a true meditation, you will know it. You have to be patient and train your mind but it gets easier with time.
Wanna know how I like to meditate the most? In the kitchen, while making dinner! Not gonna lie, I was surprised when I noticed for the first time that I was meditating while cooking but it is truly the best mind-calming activity I have ever experienced! Most of the time, when I am making dinner, I am alone at home so I play some music in a language that I do not understand and play around in the kitchen, not thinking too much what I am doing, simply enjoying the process. Usually, after few minutes, I just log off! My body does what it has to do - makes dinner, but my mind isolates from all the distractions and this is when I experience meditation.
In order to meditate, you have to try various ways and, finally, you will find your own. It is about calming your mind, not necessarily your body, so do not stop trying until you will find your own way, it will make you feel significant!
Have you ever thought, how easy it is to let negativity rule your life? We get irritated by small, ordinary things that we face every single day. Meanwhile, it seems that we let all the good things go unnoticed too often. Attracting positive vibes might mean that you will have to change your attitude and behavior but that is only for good, though it might be difficult in the beginning. There are many ways to attract positive vibes but I have three ways that I like most, it is noticing, thanking and caring.
The first way I like most is Noticing. What I mean by that is that you consciously have to try to notice all the good things around you instead of concentrating on not so pleasant things. Look around you and find at least one thing that makes you happier, it might be a sunny sky or a melancholic rain, it might be a happy person you see on the street or a kid playing with a toy, or it might be a well-deserved cup of tasty coffee. Actually, it can anything! You simply have to notice those positive things around you, think about them at least for a second and enjoy them. You might think what's in it for me if that kid is happy while I have a lot of work to do and take care of my family and did not get enough sleep last night and my head is aching because of all of this? But I promise you, once you start consciously thinking about all nice and pleasant things around you, you will become more positive, your attitude will change and you will see everything from a different point of view. Just start noticing good things and they will come to your life as well!
If you want your life to become more positive, it is not enough to notice good things, you have to remind yourself about them and a great practice to do this is to thank for them at the end of the day. A few years ago, when I was attending some leadership and well-being seminars, one great lecturer gave each of us a box of matches and asked to burn one match every evening before going to sleep and while the match burns to think about all the things that we are grateful for happening that particular day. It is a wonderful practice because you do not have much time to think about those good things, only a few seconds, so it does not take you long and you simply can not lie to yourself that you do not have time for this. Also, by doing this every evening, you develop a habit because you always know when it is time for a moment of gratefulness.
The third way of attracting positive vibes, the one that I like most, is Caring. Care about others, care about yourself, care about your surroundings and community, anything! Caring changes you and makes you much happier person. Simply remember how nice it was when your mom brought you a cup of hot chocolate without you even asking for it, she did it because she cares about you and knows that it will make you happy but actually it makes her happy as well. So I want you to do the same, do something nice for anyone without expecting anything back and let that grateful smile be your best reward!
Attracting positivity in your life is not as complicated as it might seem but you will have to do something to attract it. The easiest and most powerful ways to do so, as far as I learnt, is to start noticing things around you, being grateful for them and making others smile.
Have you ever thought how mesmerizing and calming the sound of rain is? Not only it refreshes the nature but our minds as well. On rainy afternoons I love to make myself a cup of coffee to keep me awake and to think about my dreams, goals and the future.
I believe it is essential to our mindfulness and well-being to stop for a minute and consciously think about where and who we are now in our lives and where we are heading. When it comes to figuring out our own thoughts, a notebook is irreplaceable. So go to make your self a cuppa, grab your notebook and take a seat, I have some "how to live the life of your dreams" tips to share with you!
We all have ups and downs, we all have to do some things in our lives that we may do not like much but we still can see how generally our life looks like and where does it lead to. This is why we have to evaluate it from time to time and make some changes to keep it in the right direction.
Ask yourself, what is your goal in ten years? Where do you want to be and what do you want to do? Write down your thoughts, everything that comes to your mind. Then look at what you have written and chose one main goal that you really want to pursue.
It is quite a long period and a lot can happen so that one main goal includes a lot of other, smaller goals, the ones that you could call steps to your main goal. Think about them, what are the steps? What do you have to do to pursue your dream? Brainstorm the ideas of these steps and write them down. Now think about the order of them? What steps you have to take to make another one?
Making Goals SMART
Then it is time to make all your steps "smart". Each of them has to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely. You have to be clear when and on what occasions you can mark the step as stepped. It might seem difficult at first to make all these little goals to be smart, especially when you do not know how much time exactly some steps might take but it is not as important as knowing the steps towards your goal and what leads to what.
So what is the first step you have to take to make your dream come true? You might need smaller or bigger changes in your life to take that first step but, well, it is worth it when you know where you are going. My only advice is - be brave and do not give up. We live only once and it is up to us how we live.
You definitely will need to review your goals at least once a year but, please, have a list of these steps near you all the time so that you would not forget to keep yourself on track!